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Keeping the spark alive in Couple online chats

Andy Phillips   |   Fri, 15 Dec 2023

We’ve said it before but it bears repeating: in the world of Couple dating (and dating apps in general), the art of conversation is your most valuable tool. The chat is of particular importance given it’s how you make your first post-event impression, create a connection, and decide if you want to meet someone IRL. But keeping chats engaging and interesting isn’t always easy or intuitive, especially if writing isn’t your preferred mode of communication.

Thankfully Couple will soon offer an assist from AI on this front (more on that below), but if you’re looking for tips in the meantime, we’ve put together a few suggestions to help you fine-tune your digital dating discussions.

Start the convo creatively

When you’re first reaching out to a match, do your best to open with something more original than the typical hey-how-are-ya lines that barely register as effort. Reference something from your match’s profile or profile pic, or – better yet – follow up on something they discussed during your Couple speed date. (Couple AI will be great at helping you with the last tactic as it automatically will offer suggestions based on your date-night convo or previous chat. Who said robots aren’t romantic?) Starting off with a specific question or comment shows that you're interested and that you’ve put real thought and time into reaching out, and that’s a great way to make a meaningful first impression.

Keep the momentum going

Once your conversation is underway and going well, don’t play it cool by keeping your match on read for multiple days. Establish a good cadence and keep the conversation flowing by showing consistent and genuine interest in their responses. Ask follow-up questions, share similar experiences, and sprinkle in humor and light-heartedness. And for your own sake, avoid one-word answers ... they can kill the momentum quickly.

Balance sharing and listening

A good conversation is a two-way street. While it's important to share about yourself during your chats, it's equally important to listen actively and show interest in what the other person has to say. Monopolizing the conversation or forcing your date to carry it entirely both throw the vibe way out of whack, and it can be hard to rediscover the date-night spark if your match is left feeling bulldozed or bored by your DMs.

Respect boundaries and take it slowly

If the conversation is going well, you totally should feel free to suggest moving it offline! But tread carefully in how you do so, and make sure you respect your match’s boundaries throughout the process. A simple coffee date or a walk in the park can be a great way to see if your online chemistry translates in person, but if you push for more right away (or get overly intimate in your date-night suggestions), you might creep-out your new crush. Keep it low-key and laid back at first, and rest assured you can build from there.

Remember, the goal of online conversation is to build a connection, not to impress or overwhelm. Your best bet is to be yourself, be respectful, and stay engaged with genuine conversation. With these tips, you'll be able to keep the initial spark alive and possibly find a connection worth exploring further.


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