LAND A FIRST (IRL) DATE FAST
It’s all about the chat, baby
So you’re halfway through a Couple speed-dating event and BOOM … you meet someone who might deserve more than three minutes of your time. Conversation comes easy, the vibe is fire, and a quick peek at their dating profile has you crushing hard.
Post-event, you check your account, and – sweet mother of matchmaking! – you’ve both Coupled each other. Way to go, stud!
But now what? How do you turn that great online date into a real-life meetup?
Here’s a hint: it’s all about the chat.
Couple, like most dating apps, has an in-app chatting function. When you mutually match with someone you’ve dated, you can message them directly on the platform. Easy peasy, right? We’ve all messaged people on dating apps before, so this should be old hat by now. But before you hit “send,” take a beat to remember that not all conversations are created equal. Good communication after your first digital date is key to snagging a second one IRL.
So what does “good communication” look like? Here are some helpful hints to get you started.
Message your match sooner than later
Awesome news: the first move has been made (you’re welcome!), and it ended with a fun online date that left you and your match wanting more.
In other words: whatcha waiting for? Your date wouldn’t have clicked Couple if the chemistry hadn’t been there, so there’s no need to second-guess or stall. This is legit the least pressure you’ll ever face messaging someone on a dating app, so hop to it and stoke that fire! The longer you wait, the more opportunities you'll give their other matches to snag top billing.
Skip the 🍆🍑 sesh (for now)
Unless your first speed date got spicy enough that you’re certain your match digs unsolicited NSFW content, save the sex stuff for later. The risk far outweighs the reward … when you’ve only met once before, there’s a fine line between flirtatious and offensive.
Plus, there's plenty of time for kinky communication. In our opinion, keeping things G-rated for a bit only amps up the anticipation for the good stuff.
Don’t force the funny
Listen, we love reading the r/Tinder subreddit as much as the next person. If you’re a pun master or skilled wordsmith, then by all means go for it … humor is hot!
But there’s no need to force witty wordplay if that’s not your forte. Odds are your match craves connection over meme-worthy messages, and even the sweetest, most genuine efforts can read as cringe if they don’t hit the mark. Unironic dad jokes = instant vibe killers, so proceed carefully.
Confess your crush and own your intentions
Whatever your texting style, it helps to be clear and direct. Tell the person you had a great time on your first date, mention what you dug about them, and say that you’d like to get to know them better.
Sounds old-school, but a little straightforward honesty can go a long, long way … especially for those of us who are freaking exhausted by the typical dating-app dance.
Follow up on your date convo
Know what’s sexy? Feeling seen and heard and remembered. If your message shows that you were listening during your date and that you’re curious to learn more about whatever it was your match was discussing, you’ve just earned, like, instant bonus points.
A callback is also a super-easy way to kick off the conversation. There's no need to concoct an excuse for your message if it follows seamlessly from your virtual date. Plus, if your initial convo happened to center around their hobbies, it gives you the perfect opening to invite them out. "Would love to hear more about your disc golf league ... maybe you could even teach me the basics next weekend?"
Some of your matches might want to exchange numbers or meet IRL right away; others might want to hang in chat or date again on the platform before moving on to the next step. If you truly want to meet your match in person, don’t push the pace if they’re asking to take things slow. If you’re too aggressive, big red flags start a-wavin’.
There's no magic formula for how long you should chat in the app before suggesting you take things to the next stage, but we'd give it at least a few back-and-forths so you can feel it out.
So what do you think? Any other chat tips that we’ve missed? Let us know and we’ll share helpful responses the next time we get chatty.