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You’ve met a great catch ... but how can you know if they’re a “keeper”?

M.J. Santos   |   Fri, 9 Jun 2023

Picture this scenario: you’ve been dating someone for a few months and everything’s been going great. Friends have noticed that you’ve never been happier, you've ditched all your dating apps, and you often hear comments about how the two of you seem like the perfect match. In fact, family is starting to ask if you think you’ve met “the one.” It’s a loaded and way-too-personal question, but it nevertheless has you wondering: how can I really know if my current love interest has long-term potential?

While there’s no singular answer to this question, there are a few signs that suggest your right-now romance has the potential for lifelong love status. Check them out and then do a little check-in ... perhaps your catch has real “keeper” vibes!

1. You and your partner are compatible where it counts

Compatibility is obviously key in any relationship, but which commonalities count most? All the foundational stuff upon which a healthy relationship typically rests: life values and goals (which could be general philosophies, political ideologies, religious beliefs, family plans, etc.), financial goals and habits, and sexual needs and desires. Huge differences in any of these areas can be difficult to overcome the longer you’re together, so it’s important to make sure that your core beliefs and needs align ... or at least strongly complement each other.

However, that doesn’t mean you need to (or even should) share identical everything. In fact, a great way to know whether your love has legs is if you both sincerely appreciate and support the ways in which you’re different. If you find yourself celebrating your partner’s individuality versus feeling annoyed that they don’t match yours (and vice versa), your relationship could be headed in the right direction.

2. You and your partner share similar dreams for the future

As an extension of the above, a good omen for longevity is if you and your partner have discussed your respective hopes for the future and they’re in sync. It’s tough to contemplate “forever” if your life goals are totally misaligned, right? When you want very different things down the road, how can you possibly navigate the present – let alone the future – properly?

And be careful not to fall into the trap of thinking, “Sure, my partner feels this way now, but that could change in five years.” Nope. Take your partner’s words at face value and assume they’re immutable. If you’re looking for something long-term and your hopes for the future don’t seem in step with your partner’s, it might be time to rethink the relationship altogether.

3. You and your partner communicate openly ... and often

Speaking of speaking, another good sign of a successful relationship is if you and your partner communicate openly and often. In a safe and secure relationship, you feel just as free to discuss the bad as you do the good. There’s no fear of derision or retribution, and you both feel consistently heard and understood. Yes, you may disagree or argue occasionally, but you do so respectfully and reasonably.

Healthy communication habits like this are a HUGE green flag for long-term success. You should never feel like you have to tip-toe around issues with the person who’s supposed to be your main supporter, so three cheers for you if you’re a couple who consistently communicates. You’re going places together, baby!

4. You and your partner embrace and empower each other's individuality

Similarly, if you and your partner empower one another to bare all and be yourselves, ooooh boy is that telling in the best of ways. The healthiest relationships make it feel safe to be vulnerable, and when we can embrace that vulnerability – and subsequently learn that everything from our quirks to our best qualities have been seen and accepted – there’s no greater gift. It helps us thrive individually and as a partner.

It also suggests that you value each other’s independence and that you view each other as whole people on your own. You actively choose to be together, just as you could choose to go your separate ways. Being on equal footing like that is more important than you might think.

5. You and your partner seek out and consider each other’s opinions

Finally, if you and your partner seek out and respectfully consider each other’s opinions on matters both big and small, it suggests you already see each other as trusted partners – a great starting point if there ever was one.

Checking in like this is great, but it’s also important to note that a healthy relationship is one in which – while you may consult each other on various topics – you also don’t feel like you must defer to each other. Couples who recognize that distinction are in good shape for going the distance.

Want to find your long-term love? Hit up our next online speed-dating event!


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