FORGET RED FLAGS ... CAN YOU SPOT A ‘GREEN FLAG’ ON YOUR NEXT ONLINE SPEED DATE?
Four signs that you and your Couple date could be a healthy match
The other day an article about dating “green flags” hit my newsfeed, and the headline got me really excited. Dating green flags? It’s about damn time! As singles, we’re constantly bombarded with warnings about relationship red flags. It makes sense, I suppose. We all want to protect ourselves, and being able to identify early signs of incompatibility (or worse) is a useful skill. But lately I’ve been wondering whether we’re so focused on red flags that we’re completely missing their equally important counterparts.
My gut feeling? Probably.
Of course, recognizing green flags isn’t always easy, particularly in the context of speed dating. Signals that point to relationship potential can be pretty subtle. It’s hard enough to spot them on a standard-length date let alone on one that lasts just three minutes.
That’s why I asked my Vibe colleagues to help me identify the four most blatant green flags that fly during Couple online speed dates. The list certainly isn’t exhaustive – and it’s important to note that a green flag doesn’t guarantee any particular outcome – but recognizing hints of compatibility can help you discern between a Couple, Connect, and Cut call. And since that’s the first step toward taking your online speed date to a real-life meetup, it’s a great resource to keep in your back pocket.
Green flag 1: Convo comes easy with your speed date
The first dating green flag we’re raising might seem obvious, but it’s undoubtedly one of the most important ones: if you and your speed-dating partner find that conversation comes super easily, you might have couple compatibility.
Think about every bad date you’ve ever had, and chances are one of the main reasons it went off the rails is because the conversation sucked. Perhaps your partner totally dominated the discussion, or maybe you had to carry the entire convo yourself because your date seemed disinterested. Or it could be that conversation was hindered by a lack of common ground.
Whatever the case, it’s a whole different vibe when convo comes easily and you both participate equally.
And look, I acknowledge that it’s impossible to assess relationship potential after three minutes of chit chat, and usually you can’t make any firm conclusions about a person’s personality in that amount of time. But trust your gut. It is telling if you and your date find a good flow during a very short speed date. It’s not easy for most people to fake that kind of rapport, so it’s definitely worth investigating whether this green flag is predictive of a more meaningful connection.
Green flag 2: The speed date is full of energy, and the chemistry is fire
Speaking of connection, another speed-dating green flag is when the date-night energy and on-screen chemistry are palpable.
What do we mean by that? Well, you know a date has good energy when both you and your partner are so into the experience that three minutes go by way too fast. You devote your full attention to one another (engaging in lots of eye contact, asking each other thoughtful questions, sharing sincere responses, referring to future meetups, and/or having lots of laughs). In other words, neither one of you acts distracted or dodgy or disinterested.
When it comes to chemistry, we’re talking about a mix of that good energy along with physical attraction and a fiery flirtation that makes you wish you could crawl through your computer screen STAT. Feeling this type of strong magnetic draw to your date (and sensing the feeling is mutual) is definitely a sign that your connection warrants further exploration.
Again, mutual attraction of this kind doesn’t mean that you’re going to be the perfect match – energy and chemistry alone don’t make a healthy couple – but it does suggest a good start.
Green flag 3: You cover a lot of ground in a short speed date
There’s no question that speed dates are, well, speedy. So if you and your date manage to discover mutual values and/or interests in the three short minutes you spend together, green flags are flying high.
In the best situations, speed dates plant seeds of interest or reveal sprouts of compatibility between partners. Most of the time, this interest is piqued through the discovery of surface-level similarities between partners. (“You’re a big pickleball fan? Me too!”) But it’s also possible to find more profound points of connection, like realizing you share the similar life philosophies or belief systems or family histories.
Don’t ignore these points of connection, big or small. They may form the foundation of a strong, healthy relationship down the line.
Green flag 4: You don't want your speed date to end
And finally, if your speed date is so great that neither you nor your partner want it to end (maybe you even seek each other out in Couple’s mingle rooms between dates or during the after-party), yeah … take that as a green flag to pursue each other off-platform.
Hot tip: there are options during Couple events to connect more with your match. For example, you can both request a “Double Time” date to get another three minutes on the clock, or you can meet up in the mingle rooms to play games or continue to chat more. But if the sparks continue to fly on screen, don't hesitate to see what kind of fire you can light in person.