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Navigating the dating scene as a virgin? Peep this practical guide đź‘€


Penelope James   |   Fri, 14 Jun 2024

Dating can be a thrilling adventure or a daunting journey, especially if you’re navigating it as a virgin. Let’s face it ... in many cultures, having a V-card past your teens can feel a bit taboo.

But whether you’re choosing to remain a virgin or you’re desperate to get down and dirty, it’s crucial to approach dating with confidence, respect for yourself, and a clear understanding of your boundaries and desires. So here’s a practical guide to help you navigate dating when you’re a virgin, no matter which side of the fence you sit on.

Are you a proud virgin? Own it out loud!

Virgin by choice? Cool! You do you. Whether you’re abstaining due to religious, cultural, or personal reasons, you deserve to date someone who respects your preferences and won’t push you to change your mind. Here are some tips to help you seek a partner while remaining celibate.

1. Know your boundaries and communicate them clearly

If you’re a card-carrying virgin who intends to stay that way for now (or forever), it’s pretty important to be upfront about that decision fairly early in the dating process. For one, it’s a fundamental part of who you are, and anyone worth your time will respect that. For another, it gives potential partners the opportunity to assess whether they're on board with an abstinent relationship right from the get-go. Just make sure to communicate your boundaries firmly to avoid any misunderstandings down the line.

2. Choose your partners wisely

Speaking of partners, seek out ones who respect your decision and who ideally share similar values. Finding someone who understands and supports your choice to remain a virgin can make your dating experience much more enjoyable and stress-free. Look for partners who appreciate you for who you are and not just what you can offer physically. And if your partner starts to get pushy despite setting unequivocal expectations, it’s time to jump back into the dating game.

3. Focus on building emotional intimacy

Physical intimacy is just one aspect of a relationship. By focusing on emotional intimacy, you can create a deep and meaningful connection with your partner. Spend time getting to know each other, sharing your thoughts and dreams, and building a strong emotional foundation. This will strengthen your relationship and help you both feel more connected and secure. And if you’re both down for a lil’ foreplay-without-the-finale action, by all means, go for it!

Ready for some between-the-sheets action? Rock on!

If you’re not a virgin by choice but rather by circumstance, don’t sweat it! Even if every pop-cultural touchpoint would suggest otherwise, your sexual status honestly doesn’t mean a damn thing. So get excited for romance (and maybe a roll in the hay) by keeping these three tips in mind.

1. Embrace your story: there’s no shame in having less sexual inexperience!

Your experiences make you unique. Take pride in who you are, and remember: there is no “right” timeline for losing your virginity, and there’s no shame in being a virgin at any age. Sexual inexperience doesn’t make you less attractive – it’s just a stupid footnote in an otherwise super rich story! Be kind to yourself and recognize that you deserve love and respect and intimacy, just like anyone else. And trust us, when the time comes to have sex, you’ll figure it out just fine.

2. Seek partners who don’t give a s*** about your sexual history

Look for partners who see beyond your sexual history. Nobody has the right to judge your “number,” whether it’s sky-high or non-existent. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and understanding, so ensure that your partner appreciates you as a whole person and does not judge you based on your past.

3. Prioritize your comfort and consent

Your comfort and consent are paramount in any relationship. Even when you’re ready for sex, it doesn’t mean you should feel pressured to match someone else’s pace or expectations. Take your time to explore your own desires and boundaries. Communicate openly with your partner about what you are comfortable with and ensure that they respect your feelings. And remember, consent is ongoing and can be withdrawn at any time, so if your “yes” suddenly starts to feel more like “no,” say as much.

Bottom line, dating should be a fun and enriching experience with or without sex. By knowing your boundaries, choosing respectful partners, and focusing on emotional intimacy, you can navigate the dating scene with confidence and grace. Embrace your journey, be true to yourself, and remember that you deserve a loving and respectful relationship.


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