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Image of a Couple online speed-dating profile. Copy reads: Michael G. Age: 44. Who I am: I love doing anything outside - especially hiking - and Im always down for an adventure. (I once got lost in a cave, but I'll save that story for our first date.) What I'm into: arts and crafts, baking, fashion, hiking, Italian, jazz, Mexican, painting, poetry, woodworking


The Vibe gets down to dating-app basics with this month’s reader question

The Vibe staff   |   Fri, 26 May 2023

Q: Hi there. I’m going to attend my first Couple event next week and I was wondering if you could share some tips for filling out my profile. I understand that the better my profile, the better my chances at getting a good match. I’m just not sure I understand what a “good dating profile” looks like. I use other dating apps, and I feel like I’m missing the mark with those profiles too. My struggling love-life and I would really appreciate any insight you could share! – Dumb at Dating Apps

Andy’s advice: Fill out your dating profiles in full; choose photos wisely

Thanks for the great question, Dumb at Dating Apps. You’re obviously not too dumb since you recognize that your online-dating experience is contingent on the details you provide in your profile. And yes, it is super important to be strategic in crafting it. However, my biggest piece of advice has less to do with what to say and more about how much to say. What I mean is that you need to make sure you fill out your profile completely. Don’t rush or half-heartedly complete it because you’re impatient and want to start using the app immediately; don’t skip open-ended sections because you figure they’re not important. Trust me, every data point you provide improves the ability of matching algorithms to pair you. The same goes for providing info about your ideal match. If you only provide partial information about who you’d like to meet, well, your match options will only partially suit you ... at best.

The other profile component that’s critical on most dating apps is your profile photo(s). Tip one: make sure your main profile pic features you alone. In fact, try to avoid group pics altogether no matter where they appear on your profile. Nobody wants to search through faces trying to guess which one is you, so if there’s a group pic that caught your good side? Crop, crop, crop. Tip two: make sure your photo is an accurate reflection of what you look like now. Use a current photo taken within the last six months, and make sure it isn’t filtered beyond recognition. Sure, some light retouching is fine, but over-manipulated images are obvious. Taking pride and confidence in who you are is so much more attractive than an altered image. Trust me.

M.J.’s advice: Be truthful and positive ... while maintaining humility

Keeping in line with what Andy said about photos, make sure the words in your dating profile accurately reflect your true self. It can be hard not to exaggerate or omit important details about yourself in hopes of beating matching algorithms. But a white lie that helps you score more swipes or dates is a lie nonetheless. Hiding your truth will only lead to heartache down the road if you actually get to meet your matches in person.

Be honest about who you are, what you do, and what you’re looking for. Don’t imply that you’re wealthy if you’re living paycheck to paycheck. Don’t say you’re a fitness freak if you hate breaking a sweat. Don’t say you’re open to dating “everyone” if you’re actually, well, not. (Seriously. That last one is a waste of everyone’s time, including your own.)

You also want to keep the tone of your profile positive and upbeat. Say what you want – not what you don’t want – and do it with a touch of humility. (Is there anything worse than stumbling upon a profile that reads like a list of hostage demands? Or one that completely insults whole groups of people?) Similarly, don’t court controversy for controversy’s sake. It’s more than possible to say who you are and what you’re looking for without coming across as entitled or aggressive or worse. Ever hear the phrase “you catch more flies with honey than vinegar”? Channel the honey, honey.

Penelope’s advice: Proofread your dating profile before publishing

Andy and M.J. covered the main points, but I will add one last thought: please proofread your dating profile before making it public. When push comes to shove, the small details matter. Taking the time to clean up your profile shows you respect the process and the people who will be reading your words. And listen, we all misspell a word sometimes or miss/misuse a punctuation mark, and that’s totally fine. But if the majority of your profile is littered with obvious errors, it’s going to deter matches more than attract. Think of it like your house: if you’re hosting a date for dinner, you’re going to tidy up before they come, right? Do the same with your profile. And there’s legit no excuse for not doing it with AI-powered grammar apps like Grammarly at the ready.

Good luck with your profile and your Couple event ... we’re sure you’ll have a great experience!


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